I don’t get why this is so hard… For me… Personally.
I sit here waiting, anxious for an e-mail or a text or something. I just want to know one way or another, you know? And I want to know before it’s reasonable to know. In my head, he’s quiet, unsure, and distant because he’s not into me. He’s weighing me against someone else. He’s just hanging on because he feels like he should be into me and is waiting to be sure that his ambivalence isn’t just a spark waiting to light… but he’s leaning toward ambivalence. It’s all out of a sense of obligation now.
But why can I never see a guy as I see myself?
Why can’t I imagine that maybe he’s protective of his feelings, and afraid of being embarrassed, and struggling with his own past, too?
I know why. Because I’ve been on the receiving end of all those negatives so many times that it feels like a pattern that I can’t break out of, and I have nothing left in my heart now but the expectation that it will continue.
And that’s why I’ve come to hate dating. I’m so emotionally dried up that I can’t believe in the idea that it’s not going to end badly.
That’s all I’ve got right now. I’ll keep thinking about it. I need positive things.
yo can I drop some advice all you kids trying to get entry level jobs need to learn? I learned it the hard way and now I shall impart that to you.
when you see this shit, that goes “you need like 10 years experience and all this other qualifications nobody with all that would ever apply for a job like this with”, that means one thing: they are weeding out people who don’t believe they can achieve that level. They go “sigh, I can’t even compete, fuck it.” and don’t apply, saving the company the trouble.
What you, as a fresh new student, need to do- is apply anyway with a Luffy-like optimism that you will get that fucking job!! You don’t have a million years experience BUT YOU’LL TRY AND NEVER GIVE UP ETC. You write an opener letter with that in it, submit your shit, and get that goddamn job because they just found somebody who’s willing to give it a try anyway, who has the confidence and the ability to play with the big boys and they will train you to become a master because fresh meat is vital to the industry.
tldr: APPLY ANYWAY, YOUNG GRASSHOPPER
i really wish i’d read this three months ago
to those who are still looking for their first job: it wouldn’t hurt to try. the worst thing that can happen is that you get a “no”
So, really interesting statistic that just came up in hiring diversity training at work: women will typically only apply to a position if they feel they meet 100% of the requirements. Men will typically apply if they feel they meet just 60%.
And guess what? They still get hired, because a lot of job descriptions are total garbage. These aren’t crafted masterpieces handed down from the divine goddess of Human Resources. These are things that were thrown together at the last minute 3 years ago by some manager with too many more important things to do, and they’ve been used untouched ever since.
Think about this, and think about those numbers, ladies. Think long and hard about this statistic next time you are looking at a job description and telling yourself that you can’t cut it. You probably can, and applying is free.
(P.S.: I’m happy to give resume advice to people - especially new college grads in the tech industry. That’s the field I know and do interviews in; I’m not sure if my advice would be as applicable elsewhere.)
^ Very important statistic. Apply for every job you think you’d like. What’s the worst thing that could happen? They don’t call you? They’re not going to call you anyway if you don’t apply. Maybe they’ll have a chuckle that someone so underqualified applied for the job. But you won’t hear that chuckle and it will not affect your life. Literally that’s the worst-case scenario: A wan smile from a hiring manager before they delete your email.
Half the time, the company isn’t hiring ANYONE for the position - they have an internal candidate they’re going to promote, but legally they have to open the position up to the public. So you might not hear back even if you’re perfect for the job, because someone else already has that job.
I know applying for jobs is soul-crushing. I’m a recession college grad. I’ve been there. One of the things I see a lot with people my age is a paralyzing fear of applying to jobs. Especially women. Sometimes a person will get so worked up about not meeting all the qualifications and writing the cover letter and getting it all perfectly right that they just don’t apply at all.
To loosely quote Wayne Gretzky: You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, and you miss out on 100% of the jobs you don’t apply for.
Job postings are specifically tailored to find that one superstar candidate who will start on Day 1 having all the tools to do the job with no help or supervision required. Most of the time, that person doesn’t exist. Employers are looking for someone they know can do the job, and if you can show them that you’ve got the skills and the drive and the capacity to learn, then they’re just as likely to consider you even without the experience.
I got my first ever career job like this. I applied without the 2 years of experience, and when I was offered the job, the hiring manager straight up told me just that: “You don’t have the experience, but we feel that you’ve got a lot of great skills that will make you good at this job.” Those are the kinds of places you want to work anyway, because they’re showing you right off the bat that they don’t just care about what you can do for them, but how they can help you be an awesome employee.
I have the feeling of being on the verge of something, though not distinctly sensing that this something is good or bad. It’s unnerving to not know whether I should be worried or excited, especially about I-know-not-what.
… especially when it’s probably just too much caffeine in my system at once.
college in a nutshell
I hate to be the bearer of bad future news, but it doesn’t get much easier as an adult:
you know your self-esteem sucks when a really cute guy shows interest in you and you think it’s some sort of sick joke
Or you don’t even take interest for interest because you just assume that can’t be it.